Super Junior

Name: Super Junior

Label: SM Entertainment, Avex Group

Genre: K-Pop, J-Pop, Pop, R&B, Dance, Electropop, Electronica, Dance Pop, Rock, Electro, Hip-Hop, Bubblegum Pop

Year Debuted: 2005- Present

Fanclub: E.L.F. (Ever Lasting Friends)

Fan Color: Pearl Sapphire Blue

Sites: http://superjunior.smtown.com/

The Members…

Leeteuk

Basic Bio:

Name: Park Jungsu

Stage Name: Leeteuk (Special)

Position: Leader, Sub-Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-H, SJ-T

Birth date: July 01, 1983

Blood type: A

Height: 179

Fans: Angels

Our Comments:

Leeteuk is Super Junior’s mommy. Not necessarily in that he cooks, cleans and looks after the other members carefully as if they were children, but rather he is the stressed mother with fourteen toddlers. We must give Leeteuk huge credit for being able to take care of such a large group of obnoxious and immature boys. Looking after them is probably not the easiest job in the world, and it’s so surprising that he has managed to stay so youthful and glowing all these years. Most people, we’d imagine, would probably be full of gray hairs and wrinkles by now.

Though Leeteuk has had his fair share of mistakes in the entertainment world, they have really only been the consequences of speaking before thinking. He has definitely proven himself to be one of the best leaders in K-Pop. Leeteuk has done so much for his group and held it together despite the countless scandals Super Junior has faced over the years. To name a few: Donghae’s father passing away, Heechul’s car accident, the Super Junior car accident, Kibum’s hiatus, Kangin’s scandal, Hangeng’s law suit, as well as his own fair share of criticisms. Somehow, Leeteuk has managed to, not only keep himself together, but keep his group composed as well. How much pain Leeteuk has gone through is immense and unthinkable, yet he is always sure to smile for his beloved ELFs. And sure, he can have his “emo” stages once in awhile, but in all honesty, with so much work, and having gone through so much hell in his years as an idol, is it not understandable? If the man wants to be depressed, let the poor guy have the privacy to do it on his own. Sometimes, “emo” phases aren’t bad, but may serve as good self-reflection for the said person.

As what comes with being Super Junior’s leader, Leeteuk is always ready to take responsibility and blame for any troubles the group goes through. He is the natural MC of the group; when it comes to shows and interviews, Leeteuk takes charge for his members’ sakes. Though he is the ignored leader as Super Junior basically never listens to him (causing Leeteuk to pull some drastic measures, such as choking Eunhyuk out), he still does his best for them, just as they do their best for him.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.5

Leeteuk has a near perfect face. Despite his old age, he somehow manages to retain his beauty. Our theory is that Leeteuk probably steals the youth from his fangirls. It’s how Super Junior stays so young looking. His one dimple is the most charming thing ever. His perfect jawline and cheekbones give him a truly beautiful bone structure. Every part of his face is perfectly angled so that it’s not too sharp, but well-defined. In truth, Leeteuk did get a nose job, but it was due to a complete accident, so we won’t deduct points. His facial beauty is by far the most outstanding in Super Junior; especially when taking into account he is the oldest.

His confession of the use of lifts is brave for an idol, but also shows how concerned he is with his exterior. Leeteuk is on the shorter side, but with lifts, he looks to be at least average. Leeteuk has the right to be narcissistic.  He’s a beauty.

Talent: 5.4

His best talent resides in his MC and Leader abilities. His singing is below average, and his dancing is proficient. However, it is his MC-ing that gets him noticed by his peers, and his Leader qualities that are most widely known by netizens. Leeteuk is arguably the best leader in K-Pop. Netizens, idols and  celebrities all agree Leeteuk not only has the hardest job as the leader of one of the largest groups in K-Pop, but also executes his duties with astonishing aptitude.

Personality: 10

Leeteuk is ditsy. When we think about him, we picture a ditsy blonde. Who doesn’t think about what he says before he says it. This is usually the cause of Leeteuk’s scandals (Remember his whole incident after he called Miss A’s Suzy fat?). We don’t exactly think it was Leeteuk being a straight out jerk, but more of him talking before he thought; what sounded appropriate in his head was just bad when spoken out. Leeteuk is kind of an airhead. He falls out of chairs and has the most annoying/best laugh in all history. However, he’s not stupid, as proven by how well he did in school. Just maybe lacks a bit of common sense is all. His really clumsy self is much more preferred than Leeteuk’s other side.

Though we’d love to picture Leeteuk as some happy, carefree blonde, this is in fact not the case. As most of his fans know, Leeteuk has the tendency to go through really emo phases. Like, incredibly emo. Very pessimistic and just not happy at all. Usually these mood swings occur when Super Junior is really busy; when they’re feeling the most heat.

All around though, he remains charming and charismatic. For some reason, Leeteuk just conveys friendliness, which is probably why he is such a great MC.

Total: 8.3

Heechul

Basic Bio:

Name: Kim Heechul

Position: Sub-Leader, Sub-Vocal, Rapper

Sub-Groups: SJ-T

Birth date: July 10, 1983

Blood type: AB

Height: 179

Fans: Petals

Our Comments:

Heechul is insane. He is so bi-polar, and there is no denying this. He blames his personalities personality on his blood type, AB, which is thought to make the beholder strange. He has so infamously created a “Group” (Chocoball) with his closest AB bloodtype friends. Such a clique is only one example of Heechul’s dictatorship in the idol entertainment industry. That, and along with the fact that Heechul is friends with everybody in K-Pop, and has an army of 758,000+ twitter followers, proves that Heechul is just a dictator.

Heechul’s case of serious bi-polarity manifests itself in his many personalities; however, there are three we see most frequently. First, we have quiet Heechul. Nice and introverted, Heechul #1 is just a shy, sweet, demure boy. Who adorably spits when he talks. And doesn’t talk much simply because he’s afraid he’ll come off as too strong. Next is Heechul #2, Milky-White skin Kim Heechul, Big space star Kim Heechul, blessed face of his parents, overflowing with confidence. Or, to put it bluntly, the most narcissistic man in the entire universe. Last but not least, is Heechul #3, and easily the most terrifying of them all. You know who we’re talking about; insane, crazy Heechul who rampaged when Hangeng wasn’t allowed to show his face on TV, when Hangeng left Super Junior, when the TVXQ anti poisoned poor Yunho with super glue – that completely psycho Kim Heechul who is capable of destroying anyone with his army, and doesn’t care about how much trouble he’ll get into so long as he stands up against whatever unfortunate creature infuriated him.  

Heechul is just one of the scariest people in the idol world. Luckily for the world though, Heechul is able to release some of his craziness through his insane antics, such as becoming his extremely well-known alias, Lady HeeHee. Being the diva Heechul is, he knows how to please his fans and keeps his personal life shrouded in mystery. This can have some negative consequences though, as everything about him becomes questionable. For example, sometimes, Heechul can seem so straight and other times not at all.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.5

In all honesty Heechul is not a perfect 10 in looks. But he makes everybody know that he is the world’s most gorgeous and perfect being. His incredible confidence makes him attractive. All he ever talks about is how amazingly good-looking he is; and this is all we basically hear about from other idols as well. It may not have been the truth to start with, but Heechul has forced it so much that it has now become reality: Heechul is a 10.

Although Heechul is usually thought of as the effeminate character of the group, upon further inspection, he actually isn’t. If anything, Heechul has a very childish and sweet face. His big eyes and plump lips give him a very young feeling. He is also unexpectedly tall, but is so completely unconcerned with his height, we often forget this fact. Heechul did receive a nose job, but, like Leetuek, it was completely due to an accident, so we won’t judge.

Talent: 3.9

Heechul really only excels at singing songs such as Don’t Don or Twins (Knock Out). He seems to favor Super Junior’s more rock concepts than pop. Heechul also sounds great singing cabaret style songs with his soft, husky, and sensual voice. We admit his voice is really unique, but we won’t exactly label him as a great vocalist due to his fail of technique and talent.

In addition to his average singing, Heechul, through no fault of his own, doesn’t dance much. This is mainly due to his serious car accident awhile back; as a result of the accident, Heechul injured his leg and had metal rods surgically inserted. His attitude doesn’t help much either.

One of Heechul’s true talents lies in his ability to be a magnificent Lady GaGa impersonator; even she gave him props for his wild performances and accurate costumes. If those performances showed us anything, it’s that Heechul has a slammin’ body.

Personality: 10

Heechul has an extremely strong personality. He is the classic example of a person who is way too difficult to control. SM doesn’t even attempt to control him nowadays. Repeatedly, Heechul has shown himself to be an unstoppable force that can’t be put down easily. When Hangeng was forced to wear masks during performances, forbidden to show his face on air, Heechul, apparently unafraid of Korean law, revealed Hangeng’s face during a live performance. And when TVXQ’s Yunho was poisoned by an anti-fan, Heechul unleashed his fury, publicly, completely forgotten of his idol status (either that, or he didn’t care). Despite being in one of SM‘s most world-renowned groups, he makes it a point to reveal his heart actually lies with JYP Entertainment. Heechul is widely known for being a fearless diva. True, most of his crazy divaness is due to the fact that Heechul is insanely and undeniably bipolar. Despite that fact however, Heechul, taking any of his multiple personalities under analysis, is still very different from the norm. The boy calls himself a cat. And well, he is. And Hangeng is his dragon.

Total: 7.8

Hangeng

Basic Bio:

Name: Han Geng

Stage Names: Han Kyung

Position: Sub-Vocal

Sub-Group: SJ-M

Birth date: February 09, 1984

 Blood type: B

Height: 181

Fans: Gengsters

 Our Comments:

Hangeng is nothing but Heechul’s bitch. It’s a sad thing to say, but it’s true.

Back when Hangeng was in Super Junior, we hardly ever saw him shine. He was Heechul’s shadow: His horrible korean was translated by Heechul, who usually answered for Hangeng anyways. He always seemed to simply be Heechul’s background: looking to Heechul for protection, clarity, and comfort. We’re not saying that such a relationship is bad, but those kinds of actions only showed how much Hangeng needed Heechul, to become a character in Super Junior worth existing.

When Hangeng was sans Heechul, promoting with Super Junior-M in China, his personality seemed more distinct and blossoming. He proved himself to be really funny, in a weird misunderstood kind of way. Up until then, interactions with the other Super Junior members were present, but rare. Without Heechul, Hangeng was forced to become his own man, and his quirky antics with the other M members were a joy to see.

Even whilst being a member of one of Korea’s biggest boybands, it was obvious Hangeng’s love for China never ceased. It was only a matter of time before something would force Hangeng to decide between his home and his newfound life. And sure enough, then came the lawsuit. We don’t think Hangeng is to blame in his decision: though his reasoning was a little irresponsible and childish, from his point of view, the suit is understandable. It was sad to see the situation escalate into a scandal though: Heechul’s best friend, betraying him, after everything they’d shared and done for each other.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.3

Hangeng is indeed attractive, with a symmetrical face and gorgeous definition. He’s really tall and very long, but works his proportions. Hangeng basically has a perfect shape for a man: Tall, with broad shoulders, a broad chest, and luxuriously long legs. He has the perfect amount of muscle tone too: A cut and defined body, but not to the point where it’s vulgar.

His plush pink lips and warm golden skin make him radiant. His perfect mix of masculine and pretty features make Hangeng truly the miracle of 1.3 million.

Talent: (SC) 9.7

Hangeng, unlike many other dancers in K-Pop, is not a “b-boy”, but instead classically trained in all the different Chinese traditional dances. On the rare occasions we are given the privilege to see his traditional dancing, his moves appear fluid and graceful, more like art than convulsions. His dancing conveys  a certain culture and sophistication that hardly any other idol possesses.

Personality: 8.5

Though we rarely got to see Hangeng as himself, rather than just Heechul’s pet, the times we did see his personality, we saw Hangeng for the lovable person he was. Friendly and realistic, the other M members would enjoy teasing him, and Hangeng honestly didn’t seem to mind. He was a modest and homely man, and seemed like a really great choice for being Super Junior M’s leader. Hangeng is almost similar to an adorable but lost puppy. Innocent and cute, the puppy only does what he knows best and what he is capable of.

Total: 9.1

Yesung

Basic Bio:

Name: Kim Jongwoon

Stage Name: Yesung (art-like voice)

Position: Lead Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-H, SJ-K.R.Y

Birth date: August 24, 1984

Blood type: AB

Height: 178

Fans: Clouds

Our Comments:

Yesung is the unappreciated member of Super Junior. For some unknown reason, he is the most unpopular member.  Super Junior fans don’t seem to like him at all, or rather, it seems he is just ignored.

The other members of Super Junior have not really portrayed him in the best light over the years either, so that may have something to do with it.  Yesung is the member with the best temperament and this has caused almost everyone in the group to pick on him in some way. He himself is saddened by how unpopular he is, and from time to time does talk about how sad he gets because people don’t like him. For instance, right after Super Junior’s debut, Yesung cried on a radio show because of his unpopularity. He occasionally has pessimistic moments like that, but they are very sparse. Despite having full knowledge of how unpopular he is because of reasons unknown to him, he is always happy and cheerful. Even though the other members make fun of him, he never gets mad because of a promise he made never to get angry. Super Junior is precious to him and he loves the whole group as his family.

Unlike what most people think, he is not the quiet member. In reality, he is one of the people in the group that talks the most, but in almost every interview, most of what he says is cut out because he talks too much. Yesung is known for his stupefying dance moves.  He has shown the world his dancing prowess, with the oh so popular “heart-dance” and “Octopus-dance”.

Yesung is so happy all the time because he is able to live out his dream of being a singer. He has said before, that once in middle school he decided to stop for food, and inside the restaurant a BoyzIIMen concert was playing. Listening to them sing with such passion “moved him to tears”, and thus he decided he also wanted to move people to tears through his singing.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.8

Yesung has an evident childish and innocent look. Something about him just seems so genuinely sweet. His face is circular and gives him a child-like quality. In Super Junior, Yesung has the smallest eyes, and when he smiles it is absolutely the most adorable thing ever. His already tiny eyes get even smaller, creating one of the most perfect eye smiles. The apples of his cheeks become even more pronounced and his pouty lips curl into his dazzling smile. Yesung’s smiles are undoubtedly some of the most legitimately happy in Super Junior, and this makes them addicting and heartwarming.

He has some of the best pouty lips: bright pink, cupid’s bow shape with just a sexy succulent full bottom lip. His skin is remarkably flawless; his pores are practically  nonexistent and he has a very silky complexion.

Yesung is of average height; his smaller than normal torso creates great contrast to his long and muscular legs.  He does have a large-ish head, but it’s usually not noticeable. His body is nicely toned; not exactly muscly, but very lean with good muscle tone.  Yesung’s arms are fantastically toned, and his smooth looking skin is really pretty. On a more observant note, we must comment that he has a perfectly round and shapely bottom.

Something he is more famous for: Yesung has the cutest baby hands ever. They are so tiny and precious, how could you resist holding such darling hands? All the other members claim his hands are like those of a girl’s: soft and wet. When he does peace signs, his fingers look so small, and with his large head, he only manages to look like a chibi-cartoon character.

Talent: (SP) 10

Yesung undoubtedly has the BEST voice in Super Junior, as well as one of the best voices in all of K-Pop.

He is the sexiest husky baritone. The lower notes in his register are smokey and sensual, and his rare falsettos are sweet and silky. His control is astounding; not only was he blessed with such a unique voice, but with the ability to use it perfectly. Yesung’s voice was made for soul music. He was made to sing smooth, yet powerful, R&B ballads. He gives Super Junior songs their soul and depth.

When he is allowed to sing what pleases him, there is an obvious difference in the type of vocalizing he does. In a typical Super Junior song, Yesung’s voice is awkward and strained, but when given free range, Yesung adds a real R&B feeling. For example, in Super Junior’s “Mirror” you can feel a literal difference in his singing; it was just magnificent and overwhelmingly beautiful. Often Yesung is asked why he is even in Super Junior, because he could/would do much better as a soloist.  He has more than enough talent to be solo, but chooses not to be because of his love for Super Junior.

Even if husky voices are not your cup of tea, everyone MUST respect the fact that his singing is technically perfect. In terms of execution and control, Yesung is extremely impressing. His vocal range is insane and he is capable of delivering emotionally touching performances.

Personality: 10

Because of all the lovely men of Super Junior, most people now think Yesung is a creep. The members find the need to make comments such as “He has an aura like an assassin”. Yesung did not grow up with much money, and had very strict parents, so his early life was not very easy. His ridiculous and jubilant personality comes from the hardships in his life. His emotions can be felt through his singing, and so he does not feel the need to talk much to his audiences.

The most important thing in the entire world to Yesung is unquestionably his family. Time and time again, he has done everything in his power to give his parents an easier life.  After his father got hurt in an accident, Yesung bought his parents a restaurant to help out. Because he thought they lived too far away, he ended up buying them an apartment in Seoul (he couldn’t afford it completely, so Father SM gave him the remainder). Recently, because he thought his parents worked too much owning a restaurant, he bought them a coffee/sandwich shop. During his free time, he will always make sure to help out.

Yesung is just a sweetheart.

Total: 9.9

Kangin

Basic Bio:

Name: Kim Youngwoon

Stage Name: Kangin (Strong Person)

Position: Sub-Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-T, SJ-H

Birth date: January 17, 1985

Blood type: O

Height: 180

Fans: Chamomiles

Our Comments:

Kangin is Super Junior’s daddy. He is the true leader of Super Junior, acting as the other members’ authoritative figure when someone is needed to step into line and show them their place. Kangin is known mostly for his absolute zero tolerance of disrespect, and it’s always amusing to watch such a conservative clash with the rude impudence that is Kyuhyun. Despite their arguments however, we know it’s really because Kangin cares about Kyuhyun, and can’t stand to have such a disrespectful Maknae.

Kangin has shown his compassion for the other members; a rare occurrence, but sweet nonetheless. He cried with Donghae after Donghae’s father passed. He resolved his awkwardness with Sungmin on Intimate Note, and revealed that he (very obviously) is not a touchy, emotional person and not at all one to express his feelings openly. These tiny acts of a shy, caring Kangin are those we see so rarely, but cherish. Normally, Kangin is Super Junior’s trickster; stealing Leeteuk’s credit card on We Got Married is a great example of that. Whether it’s Kangin the trickster or Kangin the daddy, both help to bring a sense of discipline to Super Junior.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9

Kangin is Korea’s #1 most handsome guy. The only masculine looking member of the entire group.  Kangin is really just a cutie pie. His face has soft features and is just a touch chubby.  He has broad shoulders and a thicker build than the other members, and he is known as the strongest member of Super Junior.  He is not delicate and petite like many male idols, but has the build of a true man.

Talent: 5.9

Kangin has a great singing voice. We may be the first to say this, but we both think Kangin would rank #4 based off singing abilities in Super Junior (after K.R.Y of course). Kangin’s control is really great, and his range is not set in stone, but is so wide it allows for flexibility. These are the kind of qualities we like to see in a good singer. Though we wouldn’t go as far as to say Kangin is one of the greatest singers in the idol world, we will say he is most definitely, without a doubt, one of the best in Super Junior. Besides his singing, Kangin’s dancing is also really proficient. He is a choreography follower – a person who, besides successfully learning the dances for performances and music videos, will not go near the dance floor otherwise.

Personality: 8.0

Generally, Kangin is viewed as very manly, with a tinge of sternness, that some argue is sometimes mean. True, Kangin has appeared to many as a very stern and strict character, holding his morals and ethics close to his heart, and easily becoming angry at, say Maknae Kyuhyun or Pest Eunhyuk for annoying him. However, despite having a slight “mean” attitude, it isn’t a cruel kind of mean, but rather the kind of meanness that is actually being presented to overshadow something greater. Kangin may try to hide his true feelings with a certain personality, but we see right through his manly act. We don’t have any doubt that Kangin is in fact a man (and a manly one at that), but we will not hesitate to say that the “uncaring” act Kangin has built for himself is easily destroyed by the fact that his actually caring nature accidently leaks through his exterior. This is well reflected in the friendships he has with the members, and how shy he is with his affection for them. Kangin reminds us of a teddy bear; the tough exterior is there to hide the softy that is inside.

Total: 7.6

Shindong

Basic Bio:

Name: Shin Donghee

Stage Name: Shindong

Position: Rapper, Dancer

Sub-Groups: SJ-T, SJ-H

Birth date: September 28,1985

Blood type: O

Height: 178

Fans: ShinFriends

Our Comments:

For the most part, Shindong gets a lot of hate from antis. Usually though, for completely invalid and horrible reasons. Constantly would we see comments, calling Shindong “ugly”, always in association with him being “fat”. First off, Shindong wasn’t “fat” to begin with. He definitely was chubby, and had a lot more meat than the other members, but to the point where he should be called fat? We don’t think so.

Recently, Shindong has been going through a makeover. He’s losing weight, confessed to double eyelid surgery, and is working hard towards better looks. And the hate still doesn’t stop. Because now that Shindong has decided to work for better looks, netizens have retorted with comments such as “Shindong is so superficial”. Leave the poor guy alone! We don’t find him superficial; everyone wants to be perfect and pretty, and to call someone superficial for working hard and trying to become the standard of “beautiful” is wrong. He is a grown man, and if he wants to diet, get surgery, etc., he can do so, and this does not in any way, make him a bad person.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9

Most people just can’t immaturely get passed Shindong’s weight. If you do, then you can clearly see that Shindong is in fact, not a bad looking guy at all. To say the least, he is pretty attractive. His jaw structure is great, his skin is okay, and his facial features aren’t horrendous or anything of the sort. He’s not the tallest person in the world, but a lot taller than average. Though his chubbiness does keep us from seeing exactly how great his body proportions are, his recent weight loss is proving that Shindong does indeed have good looks. Even when he was on the chubbier side, we always gave SM props for finding a cute chubby person.

Talent: 6.5

Shindong is an impressive dancer. In Super Junior ranks, he’s up there with Eunhyuk and Donghae, who have been training for years. He’s got moves, but unfortunately, just like Eunhyuk, never dances seriously enough for us to full blown analyze his capabilities. His rapping is also subpar, and in the olden days would share raps with Eunhyuk. Shindong isn’t the greatest singer, but then again, neither is half of Super Junior, so there’s no reason to judge this fact.

Personality: 9.0

Shindong seems to have touched a nerve with some people. We see him as having two sides: On one hand, he has had scandals in which he has made himself be seen as sexist and hypocritical. However, we also hear from fans and strangers alike, that Shindong is actually a really great guy and really friendly. He is Super Junior’s mood maker, and never fails to make us laugh behind the scenes. We won’t say he has a horrible personality, because commonly accounts say otherwise.

Total: 8.1

Sungmin

Basic Bio:

Name: Lee Sungmin

Position: Main Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-M, SJ-H, SJ-T

Birth date:  January 01, 1986

Blood type: A

Height: 175

Fans: Wings

Our Comments:

Sungmin is the Prince of Aegyo. He can seduce any woman with his Casanova-like charms. He is the epitome of a “Noona killer”; his fluffy cheeks and seemingly sweet disposition bring out the inner nurturer in every woman.  To any person with  maternal instincts, Sungmin is irresistible. His desirability is based off the fact that he is absolutely adorable.  He appears to be very helpless, but after much observation, you realize his Prince self is in fact not his true personality at all.  Sungmin may act cute and innocent, but let us be the first to call him out for being a faker.

Sungmin’s true self is that of a MAN. A manly man. He excels in Karate, and in agreement to what every Super Junior member says, he is actually a stoic and macho man.  He may be obsessed with pink, but he can work it because he is a modern man.

Despite his true persona being that of a man, it is noticeable that he subconsciously acts very delicate and careful. This subconscious behavior is in fact what makes him really naturally adorable. For example, when Sungmin was unfortunately forced into being in a car driven by Leeteuk, his horrified expressions and worried comments revealed his real cuteness. As soon as Leeteuk started driving, Sungmin rushed to secure himself with a seat belt. He is so precocious, and this adorable meticulousness gives off an effeminate aura. Even though he naturally isn’t his usual brand of bubbly cute, his actual nature is really lovable.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.8

Sungmin is the owner of one of the cutest and most perfect noses ever.  It’s not the typical Asian nose (flat and slightly wide). Completely contrary, Sungmin’s nose is tiny and well-defined. Perfectly pointed so that it’s not completely angular. He has a round-shaped face that complements his soft features well, and only adds to his overall aura of cuteness. His body looks really squishy and plushy (a hug from him looks like it would be so soft), but it is shockingly not fluffy in the slightest. Sungmin is very buff; he has well defined abdominal and pectoral regions. In reality, he is a beefcake disguised as a beanie-baby. One thing we must mention though, is Sungmin has the most perfect ass. Boy’s got an apple bottom.

Sungmin’s only true flaw appearance-wise (and this has been occurring very often recently (fall of 2011)), are that his eyes are too damn intense. If he keeps up with the creeper rapist eyes, he’s going to develop a severe case of glaucoma.

Talent: 8.5

According to SM, Sungmin is the 4th best singer in the group. We, however, beg to differ. While Sungmin does present sufficient control, there is really nothing special about his voice. It’s not extraordinary, but neither is it terrible. He sings satisfactorily; his voice is great for serving as sub-vocals to the true singers in Super Junior, but alone, it wouldn’t be good. When comparing him with other fellow members, say Donghae, it is true that Sungmin presents himself much more better, and his live capabilities are stronger. However his voice just isn’t as aesthetically appealing to stand on its own. Sungmin is a proficient dancer. He can execute his choreography great, but he is not really a dancer. Sungmin’s main purpose in Super Junior is to be the “Noona Killer”.  He is the Pink Prince. And that’s what he’s best at.

Personality: 5.9

He is a FAKER.

Sungmin does indeed act all cute and bubbly; but that is all that it is: an act. He only has such a cute and innocent exterior for his fans’ enjoyment. Virtually, every woman wants to take care of the helpless baby bird. We do admit that his act is adorable, but nonetheless, it’s still false.

In our opinion, the natural worry-wart Sungmin is much more genuine and just as lovable as his Casanova act. And if you prefer manly men, there is always the fabled manly Sungmin that Super Junior often speaks of (Who we hopelessly wish to see).

Total: 8

Eunhyuk

Basic Bio:

Name: Lee Hyukjae

Stage Name: Eunhyuk

Position: Rapper, Lead Dancer

Sub-Groups: SJ-T, SJ-M, SJ-H

Birth date: April 4, 1986

Blood type: O

Height: 176

Fans: Jewels

Our Comments:

Eunhyuk is a weenie. 

He can not even be defined as a man: Eunhyuk is more of an awkward 14 year old boy.

He is nothing more than a pervert.  According to many sources, Eunhyuk indulges in the activity of watching pornographic films. According to him, he “stopped” in the fifth grade. There are quite a few things wrong with this statement. One: Why in the hell was a boy younger than 5th grade watching pornos? Two: According to Eunhyuk, this dirty habit has long since broken, however his fellow members continue to say they have found dirty things on his portable video device. Eunhyuk then actively accuses his manager of storing such content. So basically, Eunhyuk is throwing his manger under the bus and blaming him… Classy.

In addition to being a pervert, he is a completely gullible crybaby. Eunhyuk believes anything anyone tells him. He loses all composure over even the littlest of things, and will dissolve into a slobbery, drippy mess. This is best exemplified in a story about his fellow group-mates taking away his sweets and Eunhyuk then melting into a puddle of tears. This made the other members feel bad, and so, Eunhyuk’s candy was returned, and he ate his sweet delights whilst sobbing.

He is noticeably shy and creepy with girls, and can’t seem to tell the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Not only is Eunhyuk a weenie, he is also a dweeb. His number one biggest accomplishment basically sums this dumbass up perfectly: He is exceedingly proud of the fact that he can poop the fastest in Super Junior. That’s just great.

There are just so many questions when a comment like this arises:

How do you even know how fast the other members poop?

How can any human be so proud of such a statement?

Why do Eunhyuk fans like this person?

Just WHY?

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.3

Eunhyuk falls slightly short of perfection. It’s really saddening and disheartening to think that many rank Eunhyuk as the least best looking in Super Junior. Eunhyuk is in fact not the worst, but one of the best. We are unsure if people are just blind or maybe perhaps they are seeing some other person; either way, it is obvious people have problems.

Starting with his face, Eunhyuk’s eyes are very nicely almond shaped. His irises are extremely huge and make his eyes appear very cartoon-like. Eunhyuk may very well be one of the idols with the cutest monolids. Hopefully, he never gets surgery, because his eyelids are his charm. Most people have critics with his nose because it’s rather large, however it only adds to his unique looks. Eunhyuk’s lips are gorgeous. They’re plump and perfect, and definitely some of the fuller lips in Super Junior. His lips are just beautiful. They aren’t the poutiest set of lips, but rather, the lusciousness is distributed equally among his upper and lower lip, to create an overall voluptuous look. How could you not want to kiss them?

Eunhyuk has a very pronounced jawline. It’s very sharp and well defined. Though his jaw shape is out of the ordinary, and it has taken some time to get used to, it is very well appreciated now. His face is rather busy, but it all functions to work in conjunction with itself.

The absolute BEST part about Eunhyuk however, is his gummy smile. He has one of the most unique and cutest smiles in Super Junior, or much more suiting: In all of K-Pop. No other idol has a smile like his that we’ve seen yet; his smile is extremely gummy. Though Eunhyuk was self-conscious about it for the longest time, he has said that he has apparently learned to accept it. There are times though, that we catch Eunhyuk adorably covering his mouth as he giggles or laughs. This act does add to his adorable shyness, but we can’t help but wish he’d just let his smile shine because it really is beautiful. 

He has the best proportioned body in Super Junior. Despite his height, his individual body parts are in perfect proportion with each other, which is such a rare finding. His waist and hips are sexy; if he wasn’t an idol, Eunhyuk would make a fantastic male stripper. The only flaw is that the boy has a flat ass. Like, the flattest in Super Junior. It is completely non-existent; so much it’s concave.

Talent: (SC) 9.6

Unfortunately, Eunhyuk never dances to his full potential. He only offers tiny tidbits here and there, which is really disappointing. We’d really love seeing some spectacular show of Eunhyuk really dancing. Based on the tidbits however, we will say Eunhyuk is a spectacular dancer. He is a popper, and is damn fantastic at it. Watch any clip of Eunhyuk dancing, and you’ll know what we mean. He knows how to flawlessly execute his dance moves, and always dances with such a high amount of professionalism, you can’t help but be in awe. His fluidity is amazing. He may as well be the best dancer SM has to offer.

Personality: 8.9

Eunhyuk has proven himself in the past to be one of the members that cares about Super Junior the most. This (along with his gullibility) has been proven on Super Junior’s Explorers of the Human Body, when the other members pranked him into believing that Super Junior was going to split up. Eunhyuk’s tears and love for his members shone through as he cried about them being more than just members, but brothers to him. Apart from his crying over completely irrational things, Eunhyuk can’t really express his feelings well (particularly to Donghae, who showers him with love), and so on the rare occasions that he overcomes his shyness, his confessions are absolutely mesmerizing.

Total: 9.5

Zhou Mi

Basic Bio:

Name: Zhou Mi

Position: Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-M (only)

Birth date: April 19, 1986

Blood type: B

Height: 185

Fans: Honeys

Our Comments:

Zhou Mi has the perfect amount of diva blood in him.  Not quite to a Jo Kwon extreme, BUT just enough to make him amazingly fun. He is the perfect amount of fabulous while still remaining a normal human being. Zhou Mi has the soul of an entertainer. His love for the entertainment world is easily expressed in his hard work and perseverance. Much like Henry, he gets a lot of animosity, especially from Bel13vers. However, no matter the amount of hostility directed towards him, he always gives off a cheerful appearance. His performing skills are fabulous; rather than present himself with overflowing charisma and swag,  Gentlemen Mimi entertains his audience with his bubbly and exuberant energy. Zhou Mi is one of the few people that manage to look fantastic whilst singing; he’s nonstop smiling. His marvelous skills have made him a fun-to-watch MC and a real joy to observe.

Zhou Mi proves to have many adorable qualities that make him the object of adoration from Super Junior’s name-saken “evil” members. He is absolutely obsessed with Mario. Out of what his fans have seen, he has a bejeweled 3-Dimensional Mario I-Phone case, a sequined B-APE shirt (seen above), and a very comical picture of him dressed as Mario (mustache and all).

 

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.5

Zhou Mi is very reminiscent of a model. He is incredibly tall and thin: He has endlessly long legs, and graceful long arms. Zhou Mi is really elegantly proportioned. His height usually makes him appear as a giant in comparison to his fellow, shorter Super Junior members. Zhou Mi even towers far above Siwon. He sort of gives the impression of being enormous.

Though many people criticize his nose, we find it actually gives him character, and without his prominent nose, his whole head would look unnaturally long. His nose is a necessity dear friends. His large arched eyes and very striking features make his face uncharacteristically Chinese – actually, this chiseled definition makes Zhou Mi unique for not only a Chinese person, but any person.

Talent: 8.9

Zhou Mi is a fabulous performer. His diva attributes are the perfect additive to his exuberant personality. He is the only person we have ever seen smile while singing about any topic, and his singing smiles are so joyous and lovely. Zhou Mi can easily capture a crowd by just exuding charisma and charm to all who are present.

He is also a reprimandable singer, and we would even say one of the best in the group. When he sings he is so dignified, and gives performances with such ease and repose. Like any other diva, Zhou Mi works the sexy girl dances. But, unlike much of the other well known divas in K-Pop, Zhou Mi makes use of his unique frame.

Personality: 10

Zhou Mi has an incredibly colorful personality. He sparkles with just the right amount of glitter without being a blown out fairy. He has such a friendly and optimistic disposition that make him instantly likeable. Adding to his aura, his charming smile and adorkable nature make him all the more better. Zhou Mi seems born to be a performer. He radiates on stage and glitters when he speaks. His personality is truly one of a kind; there shall never be another Zhou Mi on this planet. When he’s on stage, you can feel his delightful identity.

He’s notably hardworking and a fighter. Through the constant hate and threats from antis (and fans), he remains smiling and strong. Zhou Mi does not deserve to be treated so horribly. He is a sweet dear, with lots of flavor to his personality, and to bring such an awesome person misery is unforgivable.

Total: 9.8

Donghae

Basic Bio:

Name: Lee Donghae

Position: Sub-Rapper, Sub-Vocal, Sub-Dance

Sub-Groups: SJ-M

Birth date: October 15,1986

Blood type: A

Height: 176

Fans: Fishes or ELFish

Our Comments:

Donghae is a 4 year old trapped in a 35 year old man’s body.

He is really immature in a cute way.  Just like a puppy dog, Donghae is really playful and friendly. This cute nature however, is quickly replaced by a serious possessiveness when it comes to his Eunhyuk. Despite having already claimed Eunhyuk’s existence, Donghae finds the need to get his paws on all the other members. He also has a rather peculiar affliction of caressing Siwon’s ample buns and bosom. His touchiness with the other members is a great example of his love for affection. This craving for love however, is probably an effect of a tragic event that happened many years ago.

Despite Donghae’s current carefree and innocent demeanor, his past is quite the opposite. Unfortunately, Donghae’s father passed away from cancer back in 2006. His extremely close relationship with his family, especially with his father, made this loss completely unbearable. Due to his father’s dream of having a son become a singer, Donghae decided to audition. He really hoped of becoming a singer his father could be proud of, however, sadly, Donghae’s dad was never able to see the great success his son has become. His desire to become the best for his father is what drives Donghae to this day.

For his fans, Donghae does everything in his power to please them. He performs to destroy the stage, and his hip-thrusting is no exception. Donghae’s hip-thrusting is quite possibly the most intense thrusting in the world. It is a wonder his “Super Junior” is still attached to his body. The centripetal  force of those movements is enough to dislocate and/or sprain any body part.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 7.8 (with a lot of makeup)

Contrary to popular opinion, Donghae is not as attractive as most make him out to be. His face is too lengthy and wide, making him look like a fish.  A dab, in fact. Donghae the dab.

Back in the day, Donghae’s long hair balanced out his face and made it seem somewhat normal. However, his current short hairstyle only makes his face look really elongated. His mouth is absolutely enormous. Its size is most evident when Donghae is in the middle of singing; it’s horrifying. His monstrously sized mouth is lined by his extremely thin and usually chapped lips. Without the aid of makeup, Donghae is sadly just hideous. His skin is very blotchy and gray; not bright or sexy at all. All these traits only make him look much older than he really is. Rather than look like one of the youngest (which he is), Donghae looks like one of the oldest. Not a good thing.

He is really short, and this is only accentuated by his stumpy legs. His entire body is wide and almost stocky. Something we find incredibly disappointing though, is the fact that Donghae has no ass. There is nothing back there. Sometimes, it looks as if his pants are going to fall off because of the lack of support. If Donghae were a girl, he’d be a very flat one.

Talent: 8.4

We, P&B, officially revoke the title of Almighty from Shinee’s Kim Kibum, and bestow it upon he who has more merit, Lee Donghae. Donghae can basically do everything fantastically. He is a great singer with praise-worthy control, given the circumstance he is sitting and not running up and down stage of course. He makes up for his lack of range with his sweet, beautiful voice. In terms of technique, Donghae isn’t the greatest, but he has one of the most appealing and beautiful voices in Super Junior, which probably explains the popularity of his singing. The easiest way to describe Donghae’s style is R&B. His dancing is really suave and classy, and he completely works with his concept. He may not be the best rapper, but he is definitely able, and has proven this countless times, but our most favorite would have to be in Super Junior’s “Sorry Sorry Answer”.

It is that exact music video that proves Donghae has earned the title of  “The Almighty Donghae”.

Granted, he is not the best at any one thing, but is more the type that is great at everything. Good Job Donghae.

Personality: 5.9

Donghae is just naturally a child. This boy has the mindset of a 4-year old, and nothing has proven otherwise. His childish antics that include sleeping with a nightlight (in Eunhyuk’s bed), pantsing Eunhyuk and begging his fellow members (usually Eunhyuk) to play with him make him appear beyond adorable. His immaturity results in some kind of distance from those of the opposite sex, however, he has proven to be quite a romantic. This romantic side of his can usually be seen in his natural charms and obsession with romantic Hollywood movies, such as Titanic and A Walk To Remember. It also proves how much of a sap Donghae is, and just how sensitive a physically grown man can be.

In short, Donghae is just a child. At times we do find him to be quite spacey though. If observed very carefully during talk shows and interviews, you may notice just how distant he seems. There are just certain moments where Donghae seems to be really tuned out, and not on the same channel as most people.

Total: 7.3

Siwon

Basic Bio:

Name: Choi Siwon

Position: Sub-Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-M

Birth date: February 10, 1987

Blood type: B

Height: 183

Fans: Siwonests

Our Comments:

Siwon is a very hardcore Christian. He is Shisus, Super Junior’s pastor. He tries very hard at converting everybody, in the world. Siwon is the missionary of Twitter. He is extremely devoted to God. However, that is really all he has to give to the table. This makes his character very static and two-dimensional. It is not a bad thing that he is so religious, but in reality, he has nothing but his religion. Granted, he is a gentleman. And the last truly chivalrous man alive. But not much else is special about Siwon. It is known by all that he is without a doubt the most personable and polite person, probably in the whole world. He has manner hands (but then again, so does all of Super Junior). Siwon is the perfect example of a respectful junior, and warm senior.

Siwon’s emotions are expressed through his shibrows, which are also very polite. Siwon has a pairing with everybody in Super Junior, all being legitimate, but never homosexual (because that just wouldn’t be Christian of him). The reason why Siwon is such a gentleman towards everyone else is because he takes out all of his testosterone powered urges on his fellow members.   Everybody in the group has a man crush on him. They all envy his body, and love talking about him on variety shows.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 8.0

Honestly, without his body, Siwon is nothing. He has a really funny face. His eyes are really spaced apart, and round, but not in a cute way. He has an extremely dopey smile. Siwon just looks dopey, as a whole. He also manages to look like the Korean version of Superman, sans butt-chin. If there was an Asian version of Superman, we demand Siwon play the lead role.

Ru Paul from Ru Paul’s Drag Race once advised a contestant, “Girl you can not win on body alone, you can not be just bodybodybody all the time!”.  Siwon, please take a cue from Ru Paul.

Siwon is only body. And this boy needs to stop getting nekid. His body, for starters, is not that attractive, but rather frightening. The Mr.Simple teaser pictures say it all. Not only are his abs, well, shiabs, but every part of his body is all muscle. His calves and thighs are terrifying. A little muscle is okay, but when you begin looking like the male version of After School’s Kahi, then you know there’s a problem.

Side Note: Siwon, you bad person. Breaking Leeteuk’s nose during a dance rehearsal by smashing your elbow into his face. For this sir, you will get a deduction of 1.5 points.

Talent: 2.5

Our Dear Siwon. Dear, dear boy. Where to start with you.

For starters, Siwon is just a sad tone-deaf child. Or actually, we pray he is tone-deaf. That would be a fantastic excuse for his terrible singing. Secondly, the guy can’t dance. Maybe just about as much as Yesung or Ryeowook, and that is saying lots. SM just does a fantastic job at hiding this fact. He can’t rap either, and hasn’t been on much variety for us to discuss his MC skills. Looking into Siwon, it’s really sad to realize he is actually completely useless in Super Junior.

Siwon is the exact reason people hate idols. He is literally just an idol. The only thing he inputs into Super Junior is looks. And that’s it. He puts no physical talent into their group physique. He contributes nothing. Most idols get bashed for not being able to do anything and simply looking pretty; well, that’s Siwon. We’ll give him a 2 however, simply because maintaining such a “nice” body must be difficult on his part.

Personality: 4.9

Siwon just has an incredibly religious personality. He tries so hard at converting Heechul, and enjoys preaching to the rest of the members. Other than his religion though, Siwon is simply an incredibly static character. He has no real depth, and is literally only 2-Dimensional. With so many idols having fantastic, 4-D, totally unique personalities, it’s just boring and painful watching such a vanilla person. True he is a gentleman, and has praiseworthy manners and expressions, but being chivalrous is not enough to make your overall personality one-of-a-kind. We could however, mention the fact that Siwon is also a rapist. We pray for his usual victims (Which are basically all of Super Junior).

Total: 5.1

Ryeowook

Basic Bio:

Name: Kim Ryeowook

Position: Main-Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-M, SJ-K.R.Y.

Birth date: June 21, 1987

Blood type: O

Height: 183.5

Fans: Ryeosomnias

Our Comments:

Ryeowook is an introvert. He really likes to spend time alone and is quite shy. He is easily Super Junior’s quietest member, but is known to be quite loud when you finally get him talking.  His first given impression of a quiet, petite person gives Ryeowook a mystique aura surrounding him. His shyness makes one curious as to how he really is, and thus you feel compelled to want to learn more about him. When he does talk on variety shows, it’s always something extremely adorable and witty. Ryeowook reminds us of Tabasco sauce: it takes some getting used to, but once you begin getting used to it, you realize just how amazing it is and it works its way into your daily life.

His silly, goofy side is apparently the reason that Super Junior adores him. His dancing is adorably bad, and his smile is contagious. Ryeowook has a lovely, gentle soul.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9

Ryeowook is rather short. He is actually the shortest member in Super Junior; his profile height is so blatantly a lie, we’re not sure who they are trying to kid. Ryeowook is not 173.5 cm. He is literally the definition of petite; not only is he short, but his body frame is naturally very small. While we don’t think Ryeowook is ugly, he does have some kind of complex with his face: He has quite the complicated face; there is no real way to describe how his face looks. His actual head is very small, and his features are what make his face so complicated. They’re slightly sharp and just so doll-like. Overall, Ryeowook reminds us of a little doll.

Talent:(SC) 9.6

He is an amazing singer with great control and a unique voice. Most men at his age cannot reach anything near the notes he can so naturally hit, and this is quite impressive. He has perfected the alto vocal range for a man, and his voice is so naturally high Ryeowook has no need for falsettos. We do feel however, that sometimes Ryeowook’s talent is exaggerated. Yes, he is a great singer, however not as phenomenal as most make him out to be. It’s almost like so many people praise him simply for the fact that his voice is so high, and not for the other characteristics that make a great singer, such as control and range. In addition to his singing, Ryeowook is a very talented song writer and composer, and we must give him credit as composing songs is quite difficult.

Personality: 7.9

Ryeowook is just a sweet little dear but, sadly, he is too shy and introverted.  His introvertedness is something really hard to get over, because we can’t help but feel it creates distance between him and his fans, when usually, fans want to get to know their idols. He is adorable, but in a shy girl kind of way.  Ryeowook has proven himself sweet, and the other members usually comment on how much they want to take care of their eternal maknae, and how he, in turn, also wants to take care of them. He is Super Junior’s chef and usually makes most of their meals. Ryeowook, like Eunhyuk, is also very easily brought to tears. Ryeowook’s tears however, come from his sensitive heart and emotional being, while Eunhyuk is just a wiener.

Total:  8.8

Kibum

Basic Bio:

Name: Kim Kibum

Position: Rapper

Sub-Groups: None

Birth date: August 21, 1987

Blood type: A

Height: 179

Fans: Snowers

Our Comments:

Dearest ELFs, as members of fandoms ourselves, we know just how much you love your precious Super Junior. However, there is an extremely thin line between hopeful and delusional. It’s okay to be hopeful (actually no, not really) about Kibum’s return. But please, we beg of you, realize the facts. Kibum has been gone since the first super show. He only actually contributed vocally to the first album. And sure, sometimes he made small cameos in videos, but that was all they really were: small cameos to satisfy the ELF population. The last one was what, for “It’s You”? That was over two years ago. Such a hiatus may be excusable if he was actually doing something during that time period. However, was he really? Sure, he left on such an extensive period to focus on his drama career. But it’s not like he was filming dramas every second of his hiatus. If he wanted to, he could have made some attempt to keep active in the group. And guess what? He didn’t. Obviously, this is some kind of indicator about where his priorities lie.

Though we’d hate to point this out, when Kibum was there, he wasn’t really part of Super Junior’s immature  acts. He always seemed to be a bit different than the rest of them. Nicknamed the “normal one”, he never really seemed as attached to the other members. He wasn’t exactly distant; just, normal. Super Junior has well made a reputation for being a group of immature 20-something year olds, and Kibum just never fit that stereotype.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 9.1

Kibum is not unattractive. However, his looks seem more fitting for that of an actor than an idol. His facial structure is quite nice; he has an enviable v-neck, seemingly nice skin, and his features are pretty symmetrical. Unlike with most people, we can’t really point out something wrong with his face; this, however, by no means concludes to the fact he is perfect. His looks, similar to his overall demeanor, are plain. A good plain, but plain nevertheless. There’s not much to point out as special about his physical appearance. There’s nothing wrong with his appearance, but neither is there something extremely right.

Talent: 4.4

Unfortunately, we ourselves know how unfair a talent rating is for Kibum. Unlike most of the other Super Junior members, Kibum did not train for long years. He also wasn’t really in Super Junior much for us to see him grow vocally, dance-wise, or rap-wise. Therefore we have to assess him on his first years as an idol (unfair, we know). From what we can analyze, Kibum wasn’t totally talentless. His singing, true, is/was obviously not the best in Super Junior, but he wasn’t as bad as some of the other members. His raping is not going to win any titles nowadays, but back then, when raping wasn’t really as popular, it was surpassable. His dancing was, well, he was able to keep up. And that’s always a good thing.

Personality: 3.9

Kibum is just normal. If you were to look up that word in the dictionary, you’d probably find Kibum as the definition. He never really seemed as “Super Junior immature” as the other members. Through interviews and behind the scenes, we see Kibum as the quiet, reserved member. He seemed as the member who, not exactly watched over the group, but more of gave the group the slightest feel of normality and sanity. Such a personality however, is not really our taste. In an ice cream shop with Phish Food*, Strawberry Cheesecake*, and Berry Berry Extraordinary*, plain vanilla just isn’t satisfying.

Total: 5.8

Kyuhyun

Basic Bio:

Name: Cho Kyuhyun

Position: Main Vocal

Sub-Groups: SJ-M, SJ K.R.Y

Birth date: February 03, 1988

Blood type: A

Height: 180

Fans: Gamers

Our Comments:

Kyuhyun is the lovechild of the Pillsbury Dough boy, a Doe (female deer), and Sheriff Woody (from Toy Story).

Cho Kyuhyun is Sheriff DOE-boy.

Kyuhyun is the typical spoiled, genius Asian boy. He is capable of doing “everything” apparently. He’s smart, rich, good-looking, and talented; essentially the whole package.  The worst part is that he himself knows how great he is. So really, there’s no need to complement him; it’s not like he’s going to appreciate it anyway. His life, according to him, has been “incredibly” easy; everything from wealth to fame was presented to him and he only had to give little (or no) effort.

As everyone knows, Kyuhyun is basically addicted to online geek games (Hence his fans’ name). This obsession is due to his long stay in the hospital, recovering from the infamous car accident Super Junior was involved in, back in 2007.  Out of this tragedy, one would think Kyuhyun would come out a nicer and more appreciative person. This, however, was not the case. Instead, the only real thing that changed was that Kyuhyun came out an addict of gaming, and this habit was acquired through a complete waste of time playing those lame games while laying on his hospital bed.

He may be the youngest member in Super Junior, but he is the most disrespectful maknae ever. Super Junior themselves have said you will never find a more disrespectful Maknae than Kyuhyun, and have even taken to titling him their “Evil Maknae”. He has proven to be quite nasty to some of his members, and just essentially loves to piss them off.  He is just way too sassy.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 7.9

Kyuhyun is just long. His arms are long, his legs are long, his body is long; even his neck is long. His body proportions are really similar to that of Sheriff Woody from Toy Story; just like Woody, Kyuhyun is tall and thin. His porcelain and fleshy skin are what make Kyuhyun look like the Pillsbury dough-boy. His seemingly soft, squishy skin make you want to poke his tummy (which we will probably never see). Kyuhyun has quite the amount of meat on him: His cheeks are chubby, his thighs are thick and his stomach looks quite plushy. His round butt is also quite the topic among his fans. However, just how much meat he has on his body we will probably never know.

His huge eyes give the appearance of a doe- not a deer, a doe, because Kyuhyun does not have the masculinity to be a Buck.

Talent: (SC)  8.4

Though Kyuhyun is a fantastic singer, we are sad to report he hardly ever gives any real effort. His singing lacks pathos; it is so painfully flat, and never has there been singing so capable be so boring. When he sings, we feel nothing; there is no emotional pull. We do appreciate his singing ability and skills but we wish that he would put a little effort into his singing, and actually try to pull off some real emotions with his voice. Kyuhyun has an almost Cabaret feel to his singing. His voice is really soft and simple; it serves as a perfect balance to some of the rougher singers of the group, and we understand why he is used as one of Super Junior’s main vocalists. Honestly, Kyuhyun’s voice is great for singing choruses of songs, but it’s actually capable of much greater things. Unfortunately for us though, he just doesn’t have the effort to try harder.

Personality: 3.9

If Kyuhyun was mean to only his groupmates, we may have actually praised Kyuhyun’s guts for being so disrespectful in a country completely about respect. However, Kyuhyun is not only nasty to Super Junior, but to everyone. We can not think of a single incident where Kyuhyun has actually been kind-hearted, or even acknowledged some sort of existence of a heart. He has proven, not once, but several times of being sarcastically snotty towards his fans. For some inexplicable reason though, his fans still adore him despite him being a complete jerk (May we ask why?).

The only redeeming factor we can name in this man’s personality is the undeniable sweet spot for his fellow group mate, Zhou Mi. When Kyuhyun is with Zhou Mi, his whole demeanor changes, and he automatically softens up into a gooey mess.

Total: 6.7

Henry

Basic Bio:

Name: Henry Lau

Position: Sub-Vocal, Rapper

Sub-Groups: SJ-M (only)

Birth date: October 11, 1989

Blood type: AB

Height: 176

Fans: Strings

Our Comments:

Henry Lao is one of the rare true talents in the K-Pop scene. Sadly, he is only a member of Super Junior-M, yet even this doesn’t keep him from being a vital asset to the entire group. Not only is he a good singer and a great dancer, he also plays a plethora of instruments; most notably the violin and the piano. Henry is also Super Junior’s current Westerner; being raised in Canada for most of his life, he is the Super Junior’s only fluent English speaker at the moment.

Even though he is the youngest out of all the 15 members, Henry is quite accomplished at his young age. He is literally the whole package for a western girl: Henry has undeniable good looks (which are most useful in making him look adorable), amazing talent, and a completely lovable ghetto white washed personality. There is no reason not to love this darling Chinese boy. This, however, doesn’t stop much of Super Junior’s insane fan-base.

It is no secret that many “fans” of Super Junior have taken to strongly disliking both Henry and Zhou Mi. Neither of them deserve this kind of hatred, especially since Super Junior themselves have brokenheartedly embraced them both. May we remind these fans that Super Junior has not only had a Chinese member, who was always adored, but also a later addition to the group, who was warmed up to in time. Then we have poor Henry, who has received so much animosity. And for what? Trying to live out his dream, like every other Super Junior member? For doing his job? For being foreign?

By the way, to all of you who don’t like him: this isn’t a plea asking you to begin treasuring this beautiful man.

Because nobody needs you haters for fans.

P & B Scale

Appearance: 10

Henry is indubitably one of the best looking Chinese people in K-Pop. His porcelain perfect white skin, according to the other Super Junior members, is incredibly soft and supple. His chubby pinch-able cheeks, flat cute nose, and nonexistent eyes just make Henry one of the cutest human beings on Earth. Every single part of Henry is just adorable, and no woman can resist his puppy like appearance.

Who could possibly resist those fluffy marshmallow cheeks, that are so squishy and lovable. His skin is the envy of every girl: just pore-less and flawless. And his rosy pink lips, in such contrast to his ivory skin, create a strikingly beautiful coloring. His bright smile is so full of genuine happiness and never fails to bring us equal joy.

Henry also has perfect body proportions, creating a long and lean appearance while still maintaining his plushy and huggable exterior.

Talent: 9.9

Henry is the epitome of an entertainer, and, at the very minimum, great at everything an idol could possibly do.

He is a level 10 violinist and pianist. As a child, he was a prodigy at the piano, and has been playing the violin since he was 6. In addition to his instrumental abilities, Henry is also a wonderful singer and a superb dancer. Though his dancing abilities may not be as great as other mentionable people in K-Pop, we don’t deny that Henry can move. 

Henry has also shown to be a composer and songwriter, recently showing off his skills in Super Junior’s 5th album. Almost anything concerning music, Henry has shown to be capable of. He is a prime example of the real talent that exists in Super Junior. We only wish he got more time in the spotlight, and showcased his capabilities more.

Personality: 8.9

Henry has the kind of personality that every Western girl dreams of being in the perfect man (And believe us, we know this for a fact).  He is kind, sincere, and very mellow, all while keeping a fun and playful manner. He has the right amount of manners needed to bring home to your parents, as well as the right amount of fun you know you’d have a great time with. Henry’s personality is that of the guy in school everybody knows and loves. He’s a typical white-washed Asian that thinks he’s black, but this strange combination mixed with his unique adorable outward appearance makes him even more appealing. His easy, happy-going and down-to-earth almost shy demeanor melts hearts.

Total: 9.6

Overall Super Junior: 7.8 (Original 13 Members) and 8.0 (Including Henry and Zhou Mi)

Super Junior IS the most unequaled sublime group in existence. As an overall 15 member group, they have some of the most talented and accomplished experts in their individual fields. The group is utter perfection in the fact that it has managed to bring so many different qualities of idolism into one unit:

Leetuek: One of the best leaders and best MCs.

Heechul: An unforgettable and amusing person.

Hangeng: Beijing Fried Rice.

Yesung: Best Singer ever.

Kangin: The last true man.

Shindong: The mood maker.

Sungmin: The Epitome of a Noona Killer.

Eunhyuk: Anchovy dancing dumb-ass.

Zhou Mi: Tall and skinny Chinese cutie pie.

Donghae: The Fishy Four-year old.

Siwon:  Nekid man.

Ryeowook: The Shy Baby.

Kibum: The Normal One.

Kyuhyun: Excellent Plastic Surgery Result Kyu

Henry: Canadian chubby cheeked foreigner.

No matter what your preference may be, Super Junior can and will fill any of your desires and cravings. They have nearly every type of personality and look to offer.  The ultimate eclectic mix of talents, appearances, and personalities. With any type of propensity towards a specific type, with such a large amount of members, you can have your choice of any type of man.

Super Junior is one of the groups with the most training and one of the oldest in both age and post-debut. They are “old”, but much like that of a fine aged wine, they have enhanced over time. Somehow the entire group continues to get more attractive over time, free of wrinkles and practically ageless.

Though we will say Super Junior is of immense necessity and influence in K-Pop, there is no doubt that their glory will come to an end. When that is though, we doubt any one can say. Super Junior has been through so much pain and a tremendous amount of tumble and fame, that we’re not exactly sure SM is ready to give up their money-makers yet. As we enter the next coming years, it is obvious Super Junior will slowly digress; whether it’s because of the members slowly making their way into their mandatory enlistments, exploring other fields of entertainment, or both, only time will tell. And even after, dare we call it, the end, we’re positive their loyal fans, ELFs, who have demonstrated time and time again to be one of the most diehard fandoms of all, will continue to support and cherish their beloved group.

Super Junior M

Members:

Former: Hangeng

New: Eunhyuk, Sungmin

Zhou Mi, Henry, Donghae, Ryeowook, Siwon, Kyuhyun

Out of all the subgroups Super Junior has to offer, we’d say Super Junior M is the best. Out of all the groups, M is the one we see as having the strength to become a real group on its own. Though it may not have the immeasurable talent K.R.Y possesses, K.R.Y would only be able to survive off of vocal talent, whereas M has, by K-Pop standards, everything a good group needs: Good Looks, Vocalists, Dancers, and a Rapper. When some of the older members eventually leave off for the army, M is what will be left. And this group will work out perfectly fine honestly. That is, if SM eventually realizes the necessity of officially adding Zhou Mi and Henry.

Super Junior- Happy

Members:

Yesung, Leetuek, Eunhyuk, Shindong, Sungmin, Kangin

SJ-H is indeed, as the name describes, Happy. Super Junior is one of the few groups out that is really transparent. H= Happy, M= Mandarin, and T= Trot. And Happy is essentially just that: the members are cute and cheerful, and they all radiate a sweet and pure image. They are all capable of being adorable and bubbly without essentially being “Noona killers”.

Super Junior Happy proves you don’t have to be young or nauseating to sing candy pop.

Super Junior- Trot

Members:

Eunhyuk, Leetuek, Sungmin, Heechul, Shindong, Kangin

This is the most ridiculously proposterous group of dumb-asses in the entire world. They sing trot (very, very, very badly), but in an almost comedic way. These members bring the comic relief to Super Junior. Super Junior Trot’s only purpose is to be stupid and bring a lighter and sillier mood to the entity of Super Junior.

Apart from Kangin and Sungmin, it almost seems as if they took all the vocally impaired members, and decided to put them in a group together for some fun. Based on the members chosen, we doubt there is any sense or rationality between the six of them.

Super Junior- K.R.Y

Members:

Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Yesung

There is probably no K-Pop group, male of female, that could match Super Junior K.R.Y.’s vocal excellence. K.R.Y has the excellent trio of a deep smooth base, a high and sweet tenor, and a sexy husky baritone. No other group has this magnificent vocal range, and the three of them have the most brilliant and astounding vocal prowess. They own the ballad. No other group could really even compare with the execution, the emotion, that these three men put into their singing.  With Ryeowook’s high pitched enhancements, Kyuhyun’s steady and calming stability, and Yesung’s unparalleled perfect R&B touch to every note that his voice graces, the group blows minds with their performances.

Though these three men are virtually unrecognized by most of netizens (minus Kyuhyun), they are some of the most talented singers among the new generation of this industry. Even after Super Junior’s future break-up, we definitely see them tackling on new projects, and continuing to make music.

♥ P&B

* Ben&Jerry’s ice cream flavors. References to Yesung, Eunhyuk and Heechul, respectively.